My highs have been really high and my lows are at its lowest.
My boss is corrupt telling me i should only work 6 days instead of 7!no one understands how much i need money.I cant wait for summer when everything goes they way i have it planned in my head. I cant wait for the adventures im going to have, the people i am going to meet with and the experiences i am going to gain.
my bestfriends birthday is in 1 day! omgg so nerve wrackingg.
I miss my other 2 bestfriends from new york. i dont know what going on with them. That makes me feel terrible that i dont have any time to do anything but work sleep and school.
I put up pictures of my best friends all around my room,it makes me smile.
I hate all the guys in my life or at least the ones who used to be in it. that decide its ok to pop in every now and then.its really not, go away.
I am so happy & so sad at the same time!
im feel as if im bi polar even though i know im really not.
I always felt if i tried really hard and i worked hard and i did well, helped others, good things would happen.FALSE lies. I wish i was just some spoiled bitch and got everything handed to her and would stop feeling so guilty about everything.The one thing i have wanted for years that was so close just vanished after a 3 minute convo.I keep thinking why me?! and for all those of you who are like you dont have it that bad your not starving or your not in the streets. fuck youuu -__- because i dont want to hear it.I always have felt unstoppable, never wrong and confident.Now i feel broken and i dont know what to do ,except give up. its the only rational thing to do. FYI This isnt about love or some pathetic ex of mine. thats the last of my problems.I feel alone, always have and always will . I just want to sleep and waste away because when july 15th arrives and im not on that plane. Its a wrap.I dont know what im gonna do . how am i supposed to dream, when everytime i do , it crumbles .